Berd, Where Have You Been?

by Berd

/
  • Immediate download of 17-track album in your choice of high-quality MP3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.

     

1.
00:55
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
00:57
12.
02:36
13.
14.
15.
06:12
16.

about

This album is a collection of what I've done in the past year and a half since the release of my last project.
Album art by Vivian: x3pockiex.deviantart.com
Back cover can be viewed on track 16
Can be downloaded here: www.mediafire.com?toii9nnnv29dwje
Also on Datpiff: www.datpiff.com/mixtapes-detail.php?id=425413

credits

released 01 December 2012
Credit information can be found in the attached Readme file, and on individual track pages.

tags

license

feeds

feeds for this album, this artist
Track Name: Mass Invasion [prod. by Aeon Flex]
.... This is a mass invasion,
I have developed mastery in giving rappers lacerations,
Come a little closer and I'll have to smash your face in,
This devil be armed with weaponry most definitely stashed in basements,
And I'm ready to steadily bring the heavy pain so easily,
Break the levy of heaven so don't speak to me so deviously,
Y'all weak to me, items on the menu of my eatery,
24 for you is like a seven-day week to me,
I am the apprentice to the embodiment of death,
Looking at me wrong and you will probably be next,
...My fist is like a comet to the chest,
I got a problem with the best, don't try to garner my respect,
I see the vomit on your vest, is that mama's spagetti?
Trying to test me will turn out awfully deadly,
You know I got a machete, when situations get dicey,
Beating me in a fight seems rather unlikely,
There is nobody like me, I am a little unique,
I can't hear you sucker, you too little to speak,
Y'all is four hooves away from being literal sheep,
While I'm the only one obscene enough to shit on a priest,
So why you dissing the beast, might as well be flipping off Satan,
I'm on a mission to keep pissing off these pitiful patients,
Kidnap some kids in my basement, like Josef Fritzl,
Burn your city with a concentrated focused fistful of explosive missiles.

.... This is a mass invasion,
Upon all the little posers and the cat that's fakin,
If he wanna battle then I'll accurately stab him in his abdomen,
Lightin' blazes cages are rattlin'
I got an S on my chest, and I'm stronger than a locomotive,
Coupled with the fact they knows my flow is on the dopest motives,
Plus my luck gives me the magic touch I'm talkin' hocus pocus,
Got you in my crosshairs and you're hopeless cause my scope is focused,
A mass invasion, this is my endeavor,
I am clever with the letters that I measure with no pressure,
Nothing better you'll be blessed with our limitles repair,
Never to be rendered in the image of despair,
As kids sit in the classroom as they fidget in their chairs,
they'll forever be subject read the ledger I prepare,
Written with a quill made from the feathers I will tear,
From the angels that have fallen from the heavens, so unfair.
Track Name: Wisdom I [prod. by voodoopony]
Textbook knowledge, I don't know what to believe,
History puts more stress on names than what got achieved,
Just another way that we as people justify greed,
Would you strive to make change if no one remembered your name?
(Maybe it ain't greed), maybe it's motivation,
(Time passes), inflation deflates weight of one's creation,
(I've got dreams of aviation), yeah but so did DaVinci,
Contributions he made to air travel were rather skimpy,
(Did he lay out a blueprint?) Did the Wright Brothers use it?
(Probably not) I'll stick to minimalist music,
(If Beethoven's played today) I needent be sane,
He wrote masterpieces deaf so who am I to complain,
About a mental fallacy or whatever you wanna call it,
(Ä first world problem), can't be that hard to solve it,
(An unreasonable request), well that's a possible commission,
Don't be haunted by my wisdom or my honest disposition,
Still I've got my boys behind me, squadron in position,
Listenin' to compositions from Nas: It Was Written,
Imagine smokin' weed on the block without cops harassin',
Imagine me movin' fast, enough for cash amassin',
I could make it in the game if I play now,
Is that a wise choice, is there a way out?
Life is a journey not a destination,
There's another pace ahead of you for every step you've taken,
And once you've reached the top of your staircase,
There's another flight of stairs right in front of your face,
You never saw it before, you thought you'd be free,
You thought you'd get to this last step and that's all you need,
But you were wrong, there's more,
You start to ask yourself why you're doing this for,
Success they say is hard to find, it's just these days I hardly mind,
I guess I'll get this stress up off my chest at yet another time.
Track Name: Wisdom II [prod. by voodoopony]
What do I do? do I belong?
I'll take the truth, a painful song,
So who are you to say I'm wrong,
the sky is blue it turns me on,
The wind is high, it blows my mind,
reasons I can hope to find,
If I just try with open mind,
dictate my life through spoken rhyme,

Maybe then I might just find the answer I seek,
Between the ramblings I analyze the stanzas I speak,
Step after step every breath is one closer to death,
Nonetheless I progress as I strive to do best,
I guess I've been blessed by the trials and tests,
Indicated no less by the sweat on my chest,
I confess I can't always be givin' my all,
At times I've been reduced to a literal crawl,
But I'm never so low that I'm lickin' my balls,
Like a little ol' dog who's on a mission to fall,
Cause I'm the type of cat who always land on my feet,
I'm plantin' a seed that'll be an unimaginable tree,
Hold my breath and yes you guessed it, I will test my very essence,
Tracking definite progression of an effortless intention,
My goal's been gaining wisdom through the means of introspection,
Similar to what you heard on Imperfections, a collection,
Life is a journy not a Destination,
If you don't take initiative than you'll be left here waitin,
And don't give in to a friend's temptation,
Ask Pinkie Pie, it ain't a party if your only guest is Satan,
Just me and a bottle, and it's only getting emptier,
Suffered too much heavy hurt, that's why I got plenty thirst,
It solves all problems for sixty seconds,
But brings me two minutes closer to the abyss that beckons,
Life is a journey... Not a destination
I've faced lots of deprecation, that's just proper preparation,
For the day I'm forced to draw the hottest breath I've ever taken,
Is that the purpose of my journey? Only time will tell.
Track Name: Call Me What You Want
Call me twisted fam, cause I make the shit hit the fan,
Call me what you want but know that I'm just a man,
Call me fuck face, call me a pervert and a nut case,
Call me what you want before you know me or we touch base,
Call me a mutant, cause I've burned down the blueprints,
Call me what you want but just listen to my music.
Just listen to my music.
Just listen to my music.


So just go ahead and lemme paint a picture in your mind,
So you'll see how twisted I am, listen to my rhyme,
Imagine hearing nothing but some fukken laughter when you die,
(Imagine) pourin half a bottle of tobasco in ya eye,
(Imagine) flossing 'tween your gums with construction paper,
Going under your toenails with an industrial stapler,
(Imagine) Nails on a chalkboard, insects in your skin,
(Imagine) Every single sound that's ever made you cringe,
(Imagine) Salt up your nose, leeches in your blood,
Being trapped in a room underground during a flood,
Imagine using a beehive to get ya dick wet,
Now lemme ask you, are you feeling sick yet?
Is that what I do? Do I make you feel strange?
Do I make you wonder what the fuck is wrong with this dude's brain?
Is he clinically insane? Is he violent and deranged?
Is it the motherfuckin' parents or society to blame?

I've seen magic fucking unicorns, galloping through the meadows,
I've seen Gepetto walking through the ghetto while wearing stilettos,
I've seen the man poison our waters, dumpin the boiling toxins in,
Seen a boy swiggin' lotsa gin, then die gasping for oxygen,
I've seen every single good and bad thing so far,
Trust me, I'm as ugly as you think you are,
I've seen every single good and bad thing so far,
Trust me, I'm as ugly as you think you are.

Keep an eye on me, cause I can be so violent, see,
I don't deserve my motherfuckin place in this society,
The media's been lyin to me, but nonetheless I try to be,
As ruthless as I can cause it's my plan to start a riot, B,
But lemme tell you something bout myself first,
I've been cursed, and my sickness is just gettin worse,
That's why I rhyme, I gotta satisfy my thirst,
I'll either take over the world or get shipped out in a hearse,
If I ain't got the crown, then I guess I'm the closest,
Goin' up against me is all but hopeless,
I'm deadly like anthrax sent through UPS postage,
Make the waters run red with blood like I'm Moses,
Spittin straight adrenaline, pumped out by the doses,
No man is an island, I am landlocked and coastless,
If you're wonderin what my true boast is,
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Track Name: Riff Track ft. Berd - Celestia Rules All (w/ Riff Track)
Everypony rejoice.
We gather here to celebrate Her holy voice.
[All shall bow down to our great and powerful ruler Princess Celestia].

Yeah, this is Equestrian law,
The omnipotent force that governs us all,
Y'all made to serve, winter, spring, summer, and fall,
Put your hooves together, on your knees up in your stall.
Put away your tinfoil hat, mack, you know the Princess ain't down with that,
Submit to the power, fifth hour, little louder, now bring it back,
Where you're at, or where you stand, every single mare and stallion,
You follow by Celestia's command, cause Her eyes are always there to scan the land.
Damn, this is heavy like a load upon the saddle, B,
We keep praying every day and we'll avert catastrophies,
So magically, but actually we lose our minds so passively,
And [Celestia commands you to dance] Happily.

[Dance] Praise Celestia (x4)

....Bow your heads,
Let Her holy gospel spead,
Everypony in Equestria,
.... Praise Celestia.
Praise Celestia (x3)


You better do what you're told, whether new or old, just smile and say it's all okay,
Follow rules and know, she's got your soul, might as well be proud and stand tall today,
Or fall pray, to the ineveitable doom, won't know where to start, cause your heart's consumed,
..Just one silp is all it takes, then bang, zoom, straight to the moon,
Banished, vanished off the planet, hard to manage, man just can it,
Or withstand some massive damage way too deep to bandage, damn it,
Don't you try and stop the movement, useless to dispute it, stupid,
Just make sure your hooves is movin', you keep groovin' to the music,

[She has ruled for a thousand years, she will rule for a thousand more.]
Track Name: DED City - DED (w/ Laziwrath)
[HOOK]
This is the Diabolical Engine of Destruction,
The machine behind the people's corruption,
So just watch as the streets run red,
Fuck with the city and you'll end up dead,

[VERSE ONE - ZACH]
Look at me, I'm a misfit, who likes to do business,
I used to move biscuits, in the district,
If I still did I'd be richer, than Cinderella's sisters,
It's a shame my foot don't fit the slipper
So I can't foot the bill, I ain't shook but still They had me shaking like a maniac, when I took them pills,
Blue ones, red ones, that's why I'm DED, son
I pissed bullets, sneezed gunpowder, and bled guns,
You belong to the city, you belong to the night,
But the city is mine, I hope you wanna fight,
Cause wherever you go, I am always there,
I have not spared a single soul so BE scared,
And PREpare for the city to reach,
Its critical point, at a physical peak,
It'll swallow you up, if you ain't careful enough,
We got the stuff: a whole handful of snuff, but that's just us.

[HOOK x2]

[VERSE TWO - ED]
All I see is diabolical destruction,
Wild eruptions, child abductions,
Crack fiends, bad dreams, bands of racists,
Fat cats, stray cats, cancer patients,
Feds livin' large, junkies jackin' cars,
The things men resort to when life gets hard,
Homocide, larceny, robbery, arsonry,
Addicts in the attic shooting up more than archers be,
A desperate man with nothing left, holdin' the gun,
All of the above all rolled into one,
That's it, nothing lost or gained,
Just lots of strain, I bear this cross of pain,
Cause we've been tossed away, but now we rise from the ashes,
Directly injected the pride of the masses,
Representing everything that these castes is,
From broken classless to facist bastards.

[HOOK x2]

[BRIDGE]
The lights are getting dim as the night sets in,
But the blazin' faces painted on the city of sin,
Look IN our direction, the terror's conception,
As we're exploiting every flaw and every single imperfection,
The lights are getting dim as the night sets in,
But the blazin' faces painted on the city of sin,
Look IN our direction, the terror's conception,
As we're exploiting every flaw and every single imperfection.
[PAUSE]

[HOOK]
Track Name: Midnight Crew
This is a poetic revelation,
A minor change, a total transformation,
A white lie, an utter fabrication,
Welcome to the world of my imagination,

The only rapper to cause a massacre of facist ambassadors,
With a pair of massive spurs and a fukken flux capacitor,
While you stressin over science lessons, pullin out hair follicles,
I'm synthetically dissassembling isotopic molecules,

Recreating human flesh with handfuls of dust particles,
Restocking my arsenal with the genuine article,
Just not the magazines that glorify cash from afar,
The only thing they concern about is how fast is your car,
No one has the audacity to call this bastard a star,
I ain't mastered the barre, fingers numb from pickin' at the guitar,
...Red lines on my index,
Red tape on my files for the work I ain't put in yet,
I ain't been set since day one, mama said don't play with guns,
But I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
...I'll stab Big Brother in his watchful eye and watch him cry,
Then make amends,
This is what I'm do before the world ends.

Day destruction is soon (I'm a member of the)
Free Masons, gonna blow up the moon (I'm a member of the)
Rat race, it's a God damn zoo, (I'm a member of the)
I'm a member of the Midnight Crew

(Don't you know) I built this city on Rock 'n' Roll,
Worked hard all day, never stopped to fold,
Put in sweat, put in blood, and it rocked my soul,
Now I sit on the throne piling lots of gold,
With my decision to create incisions in social divisions,
As I christen the condition of Eddie Nygma's existence,
Your mind's too insufficient to envision my positions,
Belligerent wisdom held behind judicial restrictions,
They'll make thinking forbidden, don't expect me to forgive them,
Either way I'm on a mission to make all these people listen.

(I'm a member of the) Rat race, it's a God damn zoo
(I'm a member of the) Illuminati, gonna blow up the moon
(I'm a member of the) World so blue,
I'm a member of the Midnight Crew
Track Name: FRESH
Freshness is my quest, being the freshest is my mission,
You don't get yet it then yes I think you best adjust your vision,
Listen and put on some fresh new specs and see me,
Rockin' a fresh NewEra, fresh kicks and fresh tee,
Fuck it, I'm fresh to death since the day I was spawned,
Fresh out my moms, destined to ball like James Bond,
Ain't nobody fresh as me,
I'm just too God damned fly (GET REAL!)
Messin with my freshness well I guess you got a death wish,
You ain't as fresh as me, your name ain't even on the guest list,
You ain't invited to the party, you little freshman,
Take a refresher couse to brush up on your lessons,
But test's already ended, hands down, no question
I'm the freshest, now lemme mention my intentions,
To build my collection until I'm flyer than the Jetsons,
With that idea fresh in your head, just one of the methods,
That'll help me fuel America's obsession... with freshness,
So pay close attention for a subliminal message.
Track Name: Pony Swag
[VERSE ONE]
I am a Brony, ponies are my poetic passion,
Why I'm wasting hours I'm supposed to be nappin'
'stead, I'm smokin' hash & gettin the latest episode,
Constantly in awe of Hasbro's animation spectacles,
Plus the character development is very intelligent,
And the life lessons taught to us are rarely irrelevant,
You see, the show's compelled me to be a better person,
If I'm rapping about ponies then my verses are all curseless,
Now I'm spittin' clean, you'd think I'm swiggin Listerine,
Plus I'm buying figurines that's marketed at little tweens,
(Regardless) the Brony is a sign of real cultural advancement,
Community expandin' to lend a helping hand,
All you need to give is kindness, big or small,
If you like ponies or not, come one, come all,
I promise we won't judge, come as you are,
We won't send you to the moon but we'll let you see the stars,

Ponies Ponies Ponies (SWAG!)
Ain't nobody told me (SWAG!)
Ain't nobody know the deal (SWAG!)
You'll find me in Ponyville (SWAG!)
<Giggle at the ghostly
Guffaw at the grossly
Crack up at the creepy
Whoop it up with the weepy>

[VERSE 2 as Enygma The Pegasaurus]
Cause I'm the center of attention as I step up in the room,
It's a definite progression as the better pony zooms,
Across the sky, eyes wide at my brilliant display,
Every pegasus is envious, I'm killin' 'em today,
...Don't you get it yet? I'm settling heavy rotation,
Effortlessly wreckin' the reputation of every nation,
From Cloudsdale to Manehattan to Canterlot,
No matter where I trot, all I hear is "damn he hot,"
Maybe cause my swag is on the level of the pony,
They just see me and hear me and love me even if they don't know me,
...Just ask Princess Celestia,
And when you see her, try not to start choking or messing up,
And if your flank ain't bearing designs,
You just do what you gotta, and look for various signs,
Cutiemarks rule everything around me, CREAM,
Find your purpose, discover who you are y'all.

[Hook]
Ponies Ponies Ponies (SWAG!)
Enygma the one and only (SWAG!)
Picture me rollin' ill (SWAG!)
Up in Ponyville (SWAG!)
<Giggle at the ghostly
Guffaw at the grossly
Crack up at the creepy
Whoop it up with the weepy>
I'm a Brony he's a Brony she's a Brony we be Bronies,
Would you like to be a Brony too?
Track Name: Berd Where You Been? (One)
[8]
(Berd where you been?) I been chillin' in a daze,
Spending too long in the Land of Pulse and Haze,
Nothing in my brain but Wind and Shade,
Slicker than the Spade that was used to dig my grave,
When did I die? There ain't a lot to know,
But now I got the Thought and Flow that rocks the soul,
Rock the soul,
time is fleeting but eternal let the Heat and Clockwork burn you as it rocks the soul,
[16]
Berd where you been?
I've been tryna move forward, tryna make ends,
Let the story begin, it's just my life, played right,
Eight to three then four to ten's what the work day's like,
I'm just looking for that extra cheese,
life's like a pizza not concieved by birds and bees, but flour and yeast,
Once it's thrown into a hotter climate, on its own it rises,
I think that's near where I'm at, and I've only started climbin',
Fuck it, life is like a camera, what can I make of it,
I'll capture the good times and develop from the negatives,
I'm gonna need to focus if I wanna get a decent shot,
Tryna choose whether I wanna move along or keep a lot,
Life is like a taxi, the meter keeps on ticking,
Don't matter if you're moving forth or sitting, so keep living,
Life is like a box of chocolates, life is like a space ship,
Life's a gamble, life's a bitch, life is what you make it.

[interlude]
Did you miss me? (I been alright)
I don't know where I'm goin but I'm goin' there, is you comin' with me? (take my hand)
Up, up and away, hey,
Do you trust me? (I'm a good dude)
If I was on my last dollar, dead broke, ass out, would you love me? (would ya?)
Then it must be
A match made in heaven

Berd where you been? (I've been doing my thing)
Berd where you been? (tryna keep paper in my wallet)
Berd where you been? (whatever you wanna call it)
Berd where you been?

[16]
I've been tryna make my way up in this city of sin,
My drive is towards the paper, that's my mission again,
Climbing up the ladder often twisted my wrists,
As my life in this rat race prison begins,
For some time I almost entirely stopped with raps,
Wasn't wasting no time, that's how I got the cash,
Holdin' down two jobs and on top of that
I'm pushin, you wonder why I fell off the map?
Now I'm back for what's mine, Imma take it by force,
I am an unmanned apocalypse horse,
That totally lonely pony, with no horse shoes, no saddle,
The angry motherfucker who gon force you to battle,
But if you on my good side you got nothing to fear,
I don't know who Berd is but Eddie Nygma is here,
On some Jekyll and Hyde shit, best not to try shit,
And check your alliance or face a death by the irons,
[8]
(Berd where you been?) I've been living in a daze,
Mary Jane in flames, unquenched by Light and Rain,
Just a tadpole in the land of Frost and Frogs,
Who fell off my log tryna cross the bog,
But now I'll cross the road, you ought to know,
As I spit the Thought and Flow ya got to rock ya soul,
Rock the soul,
time is delicate and precious for the hell of it I'll let it go and rock my soul.

Berd where you been? (Not quite as wired in)
Berd where you been? (keeping my face low)
Berd where you been? (tryna escape, yo.)
Berd where you been?
Track Name: Berd Where You Been? (Two)
... I'll tell you where I been,
It's been a few long years since Bringin' the Storms In,
Tha Final Frontier was where I begin,
Then releasing the Berd Flu was my original sin,
How To Divide By Zero to continue the storms,
I think Mathletics is where Eddie Nygma was born,
I showed 'em my Imperfections, to fuck with our heads,
Then I went and said the Things That Shouldn't Have Been Said,
(Berd where you been?) I been doin' it major,
Antisocial Cues droppin' sooner or later,
But for now here's my collection, bits and pieces what I done,
With this rap shit over the past sixteen months,
And what's occupying my time, you happen to ask?
Lemme stop and try rewind, man it's happened too fast.
It's been a long time since I've last done this rapping, see,
Since then I've smoked fantastic weed, and lost some lung capacity,
Lost some brain cells, hittin' the bottle didn't help,
Locked in fukken solitude, talking to myself,
But the culture I absorbed through my pores was entertaining,
Never bored, just the opposite, I had problems wit debating,
Either get ready for work or read the next page of Homestuck,
Deciding I got time then fifteen minutes later "Oh, fuck!"
Go to work, make pizzas keep up maintaining the kitchen,
Flippin' burgers cooking frickin' chicken, least I make a livin',
Get high, watch ponies, chill with my friends,
Chill with my girl, smoke more weed, maybe fuck her again,
Big Berd where you benn? That name's been played out,
Can you tell me how to get, how to get down?
My art needs revision; isn't gifted as I witness
The transition from Berd to this dastardly villain's composition,
... The one and only E. Nygma, catch up,
Reposition your superstition cause shit don't add up,
Bad luck, but I'll save the math for later,
Kick back and read the paper as I become my own narrator,
This is My own voice inside my own mind,
A personal infinity behind my skull's confines,
And I invite you inside, remove your sweaters and coats,
Please make yourself at home, I am an excellent host,
Witness my victories, my failures, my virtues and my sins
So nobody gotta ask me where I been.
Track Name: 'Twi'
Dear Celestia,
Since I arrived in Ponyville I've been well,
I've got so many stories and so little time to tell,
I've made a couple friends just like you had asked,
Although I must admit, facing a dragon's an easier task,
No, no, not you, Spike, you're all right,
Please excuse my hesitation, just keep taking dictations,
Anyway, Celestia, how have you been?
I haven't even heard a thing from you since the tenth,
Oh, well, that's okay, you've got bigger fish to fry,
Delegating in your castle perched up in the sky,
It's a real big world, and a cloudless night,
OUt the window I see the full moon shining so bright,
I wonder what's up there?
But then again, I'm just a daydreaming imaginative albeit studious young mare,
I've digressed, that's enough for today, time for goodbye,
Sincerely, your most faithful student, Twi.


Dear Celestia,
I write to tell you things are going just fine,
This is just what I was feeling at the time, just the thoughts in my mind,
I've learned so much about friendship no less,
And I have you to thank for it... I guess,
But I was thinking, and I hope this isn't too soon,
Why didn't you tell me it was your sister imprisoned on the moon?
You said the prophecy was false, but you knew, were you lying?
What else have you been hiding?
I don't mean to sound hostile, it's just curiousity,
I'm sure you have reasons for secrets that you've got to keep,
Oh well, other than that I'm doing okay,
Pinkie threw one of her crazy parties yesterday,
She learned to expect the best instead of assuming the worst,
And to prioritize one's friendships and their interests first,
Taken into consideration feelings deeply immersed,
And when those needs are unmet, all that's left is the hurt,
When friends are ignored, they become so cold,
But you wouldn't know that, you're never alone,
To you it must be "just whatever,"
By the way, it's been forever since you've written a letter,
Please give me an update, it's been so long,
Your faithful student only wants to know what's been going on.
Sincerely, Twi... P.S. it's gonna be great,
Seeing you at the Grand Galloping Gala, I can hardly wait!


Dear princess "Stand-around-ignoring-your-best-student,"
Greeting everypony in line and making me look stupid,
Oh yeah, that Discord guy? We got rid of that jerk,
Thanks for sending me and my friends to do your dirty work,
With the fate of Equestria in the balance, I mean really,
You could have dispatched the national guard instead of six fillies,
Whatever, I guess you see no merit to what our life is,
And pay no mind to Ponyville's financial crisis,
You could make it all vanish with a nod of your head,
But you turn your omnipotence on the selfish things instead,
I hate your self-indulgence, it's driving me insane,
I hate your magic powers and I hate your stupid mane,
I guess all I'm saying is that I'm too stressed out, you see,
I guess the role of "faithful student"'s not what I'm cut out to be,
So you know what I did? I went to visit Derpy Hooves,
And she gave me a bunch of pills I crushed up and then blew,
They're supposed to relieve stress,
But somehow I ended up in the library and I'm surrounded by a real mess,
And Spike's out cold on the floor... lemme think,
I must have slipped a few of those tabs in his drink, get it?
I've got the energy left in me to finish this note,
And if I poke Spike's belly he'll exhale enough smoke,
To send this letter out, then I'll just close my eyes,
One last time I think I'll say goodbye,
Sincerely, Twi.


Dear Lauren,
You don't know me, but nonetheless let me begin,
I'm just another fan of the work that you've put in,
Just another internet geek swept up by the sensation,
But I must confess, FIM is truly amazing,
I hope you liked my derivitave work, I hope you ain't pissed
That I killed off Twilight and Spike -- I couldn't resist,
I'm a little bit afraid to say,
But if our world was like Equestria my mind might not have worked that way,
I'm sorry for having written such terrible things,
Maybe your world is just a safe haven to me,
If I were to be with you, I would be so content,
Never have to think bad thoughts or even vent,
I would abide by Twilight Sparkle's friendship lessons,
I could be a little pony in your collection,
You could dress me and groom me, put me on display,
Hold me tight and tell me it'll all be okay,
All I can say, is that I want you, I need you,
I love you, I'll do anything to please you,
I could be with you forever, we would never be alone,
I'd even steal Craig McCracken's skin and wear it as my own,
I'll hold my breath until I pass out once my face turns blue,
Whenever I eat something delicious I imagine I'm tasting you,
I'll say it right now, and I know it sounds absurd,
One day we'll meet each other and be together, mark my words.
Forever yours, Berd.